Tales from Lynx Mountain
Tales from Lynx Mountain originally appeared late one night after a trying to airbrush with acrylic paints and having the nozzle clog once too often. It is loosely based on real events, and may yet appear as a comic strip one day. I owe a debt of gratitude to B^2 Burgess, who showed me how to write badly.
Jed climbed up into the cab of the little Porter, watching the clouds go south for a while to let the sun shine. Cracking the throttle, the wee beast hissed disapproval at being disturbed this early in the morning. Jed ignored the protest and concentrated on the espresso maker Carl had installed under the pressure gauge. "It makes a darn fine latte...", he thought," if you can overlook the carbon flecks in the foam..."
Meanwhile, Sam the conductor stared at the crowd gathered on the platform.
Belle and Esmerelda were deep in conversation with Snow White about Quasimodos
grooming habits. The Power Rangers were arguing with Batman and Wonder Woman
over who would get the window seats. Sam hoped it wouldn't come to blows.
Meanwhile, he pondered the how the grossly oversized Barbie would pass through
the doors of the coach. Perhaps he could persuade her to try the gondola.
He hated it when the neighborhood kids came to play...
Carl looked at his fourteenth abdomen of the day. "Another accident, another horribly mutilated corpse", he mused, as he helped Jed haul the carcass off to the side of the tracks. "Hey, look!", cried Jed, as he hefted the head up to shoulder height. The antennae waggled gruesomely. "How about a trophy for the cafe?". Carl sneered at him, and Jed morosely tossed the ant's head to one side
Will Carl solve his latte problems? Will Sam ever find out about Barbie's
true feelings? And the ants are plotting their revenge... Stay tuned....
The pictures here originally appeared in the "Large, Dangerous Things That Go Fast" issue of National Lampoon which I can't find any more so I have no idea what issue exactly. It was from back when it was really, really funny.